"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
