I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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