you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
