yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
