I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
