his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
