he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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