i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
where are you?
Hypothermia
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
