it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
