i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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