8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
