I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
