I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize