i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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