i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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