Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
