I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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