the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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