Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
