Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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