I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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