Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
