so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize