I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
