just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize