I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drake has all the answers
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
