my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
