Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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