are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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