hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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