Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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