I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
