garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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