At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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