and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
