he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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