Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
