I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.