i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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