new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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