I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize