how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize