How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
