i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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