Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
