I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's just like the Real World with babies
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
