I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
