she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
