he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
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Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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