dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Success! We fucked roommates!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
