There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
