she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
