Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
