I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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