i just had sex bonerless
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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