Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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