margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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